Last Will and Testament

Laid out on this dusty desk is my long life.
All would be disbanded if not for the new papers laid out.
Sad that all my accomplishments could be dissected to my wife.
Tough it will be for her, this my final attempt at comfort before my life will be snuffed out.

Wondering and mental plagues withering what health left, gone.
Inlaid worry set upon my mind that day of sun, white, and doves.
Lay in bed that night I did, falling in sheets with a moan.
Laying but shifting to view the woman of devotion and unending loves.

All thought focused on the past and deeds and words not explored.
Night has long set, shortened the day, as every day/time I lost with her.
Desperate my mind and heart is to recall that lost time, and soon.

Twenty years ago, I remember, how we celebrated our bond of fortyth.
Excellent memories I could recall of our journey, but still longing for more.
Suffering, I can recall, she went through to give our children birth.
Touching devotion and care we have shared throughout our lives, evermore.
Always kindering and loving our children and watching them grow.
Mourning our kids eventual self grown independences.
Envying  the age and opportunities forloning the fears of six below.
Now, however was not the time for these thoughts and tendencies.
Tomorrow I will wake up and see her and revisit these thoughts and feelings..right?